May 20th is the Valentine’s Day on the Internet. On this day, many people will express their love to their loved ones, but some people will keep their love in their hearts and secretly love each other. So, what about college students’ unrequited love? How many college students have had a secret crush? Will you tell your secret crush? What impact will unrequited love have on study and life? What will you do when your confession is rejected?
A few days ago, China Youth Network Campus News Agency conducted a questionnaire survey among 859 college students in China. The results show that more than 80% of college students have had a secret love, and they like the opposite sex with sincere and kind heart, good temperament and high value. Nearly half of the students are unwilling to confess, and "the other party regards themselves as friends" and "the other party is too good to deserve the other party" are the main reasons for students not to confess; More than 30% of students think that secret love will make their study and life better, and more than 80% of students will choose to make themselves excellent through hard work during their secret love. Over 50% of the students don’t regret not confessing, and nearly half of them give up their secret love because their confession is rejected.

More than 80% had a secret love, and they liked the opposite sex with sincere heart, good temperament and high value.
How many college students have had a secret crush? According to the survey, 81.14% of college students said they had a secret crush, while 11.76% said they had never had a secret crush.
Chen Huilin, a student from hubei engineering university, said that his squad leader was handsome and cheerful. When he first entered the university, he had a good impression on him. "Every time I carry out class activities, I can’t help glancing at him with the corner of my eye, being careful, for fear of being discovered. Looking at him will make me feel very comfortable."
Yan Huang, a student of Chengdu University of Traditional Chinese Medicine, talked about his secret crush. "He is a very talented person, and he is kind, careful and patient. In life and study, it has helped me a lot. I have secretly liked him for two years. During these two years, I found that he is getting better and better, and I have always buried my love for him in my heart. "
What are the advantages of the crush on college students? The survey shows that the secret admirers are sincere and kind in heart, good in temperament and high in face value, with 72.53%, 70.31% and 69.15% respectively. In addition, 62.98% of college students choose to "have common topics and hobbies"; 62.05% choose to be self-motivated; 61.35% chose to be talented; 54.48% have strong selection ability; 50.06% chose excellent grades; However, only 21.65% of college students choose from a good family.
Wang Rong, a student at Yibin College, said that unrequited love is beautiful, just like waiting for the epiphyllum to bloom at night, which is both nervous and excited and afraid of disappointment. "He will feel very comfortable just staying with a kind person, and at the same time he will be infected by the other person’s heart, making himself like the other person, and there is a feeling of slowly approaching him. Although I will also pay attention to the face value and temperament, the advantage of the other party is the infinite motivation to make myself better. "
"Everyone likes beautiful things. At first glance, he was amazed by his appearance, but then I found that he was serious in everything, devoted himself wholeheartedly, positive in doing things, would not cheat, and was very strict with himself." Jiang Yu, a student of Hope College of Southwest Jiaotong University, said that he only wants to silently guard the object he secretly loves. It is enough to see him and pay attention to him.

Nearly half of them are unwilling to confess, and "the other party regards themselves as friends" is the main reason for not confessing.
Will college students confess their secret love? According to a survey conducted by China Youth Network, 52.62% of college students choose to confess their secret love, while 47.38% choose not to.
Chen Shu of Chengdu University of Information Science and Technology believes that if you like it, you should say it out loud. "It’s a wonderful thing to like someone. If you just have a crush and never dare to take a step, then the two of you are doomed to miss it. Now that we are all in college, love is normal, and we will not regret it if we pursue it bravely."
"If you say it, it’s not a secret love. I like the feeling of secret love." Tan Li, a student at Sichuan Agricultural University, feels that some love has not been put in my heart. "It is very beautiful to love someone silently in my heart. If you take the initiative to confess, you will not feel this way. If you are rejected, you will easily become friends."

So, what are the reasons why college students are unwilling to confess? 54.95% and 54.83% of college students choose "the other person only regards himself as a friend" and "the other person is too good to deserve him" respectively; 46.8% chose to "wait for a suitable confession opportunity"; 37.6% said that "the other party has a lover"; 27.36% "afraid that falling in love will delay the development of both sides"; 17.46% think that "love costs a lot and economic conditions do not allow it"; Only 8.85% of them are "people around them are opposed to falling in love".
Li Zhixiu, a student of Chengdu Vocational College of Agricultural Science and Technology, said that he once had a crush on a science student "Xueba" in high school. "I liked him for three years, but I dare not confess. For him to choose science and for him to repeat, it is really immature and naive to think of it now. However, I felt that he was very good in all aspects during my three-year crush. Finally, I sent him a handwritten letter to thank him for illuminating my high school."
Wu Ji, a student of Chengdu University, told reporters that he felt inferior since he was a child and was a "little transparent" who dared not take the initiative to meet strangers. However, when he arrived at the university, he saw a girl. From the very beginning, he secretly paid attention to her in class, and then he pretended to sit beside her randomly, creating countless encounters at school. The closer Wu Ji gets to her, the more she finds that she is getting better and better, friendly and straightforward …… "I want to confess to her when I can be worthy of her one day, and I will continue to grow and try to catch up with each other’s footsteps."

Super 3 causes unrequited love to become better, and over 80% choose to make themselves excellent through hard work.
What impact will unrequited love have on college students’ study and life? According to the survey, 34.49% of college students’ study and life are better because of secret love, 35.04% think it has no effect, and 30.27% say that secret love has caused trouble to their study and life.
On the other hand, what have college students done for their secret admirers? According to the survey, 82.19% of college students choose to "make themselves excellent", 72.06% try to understand each other’s hobbies and interests and find common topics, 60.65% secretly observe each other every day, 52.85% choose to "dress themselves up in appearance" and 35.39% take the initiative to contact each other every day.
Liu Yaqing, a student of anyang normal University, made herself grow up in a secret love. Liu Yaqing said that the draft of the boy he secretly loves is well written and his thinking is very meticulous, so he belongs to a particularly outstanding boy. "I took him as one of my beliefs at that time, and I wanted to work hard secretly to make myself better. I hope he can see me." Later, when they became familiar with each other, Liu Yaqing didn’t have the feeling of unrequited love, and they became good friends who talked about everything.
"My secret crush is in junior high school, but I actually like her after graduating from junior high school. She got good grades and got into the best local No.1 middle school, while I only got into No.2 middle school. At that time, I thought that if I could do better in the exam, I could be in the same school with her. " Lin Fansen, a student of Anhui Normal University, said that she had been working hard in high school, hoping to be admitted to the same university as her. However, after the results of the college entrance examination came out, she failed to be admitted to the undergraduate course. "And I was admitted to one, and then she went to my alma mater to re-read. Not long after, she told me that she was in love, and this unrequited love was declared over."

More than 50% don’t regret not expressing their love, and nearly half will give up their secret love because the other party refuses.
During the period of unrequited love, will those college students who missed the confession of their unrequited love regret it? According to the survey, 56.93% of college students have no regrets, while 43.07% have regrets.
Zeng Huiqing, a student of Zunyi Medical University, once missed her secret love, but she did not regret it. In high school, Zeng Huiqing didn’t express her thoughts to the boy she secretly loved. Once, she inadvertently found a girl in the chat background shared by the class, wearing military training clothes and looking very handsome. "The girl should be his girlfriend. I may be just a brother he likes, not his favorite girl type. I didn’t confess at that time, and I don’t regret it."
Zhang Jinghua, a student of Chongqing Jiaotong University, laughed at herself as a "black girl". Because the skin color is darker, I prefer boys who are white and clean. In her eyes, boys with white skin all have their own auras. "For a period of time, I did have a good impression on a boy, which was a kind of unrequited love, but it slowly disappeared. I am glad that I didn’t confess because of the impulse."
What do college students do when their secret love is rejected? The survey shows that 47.85% of college students will choose to give up directly after their confession is rejected; 40.28% of college students said that they would not give up, but they would silently guard each other; 11.87% of college students said that they would not give up and continue to find opportunities to express their feelings.
Chen Zhaowen, a student of Guangdong Medical University, suffered setbacks in her first unrequited love. "I like playing volleyball, but I play it badly. He plays volleyball very well. When playing volleyball, he looked at me with disdain, and I was very unconvinced. I practiced volleyball crazily and wanted to ‘ Catch up with ’ He. "
Finally, the two had feelings. One day, Chen Zhaowen summoned up the courage to confess to each other, but she was declined. Chen Zhaowen said that she was in a very bad mood for a while, but she gradually adjusted. "After this period of unrequited love, it became ‘ Ming Lian ’ After the failure, I feel that my psychology has become mature, and I don’t think about love. "
Li Chengxing, a student of Sun Yat-sen University, had a crush on a girl in her class when she was a sophomore. "I am a relatively introverted boy. I tried to write an article online, confess anonymously on the school confession wall, and then took screenshots to the class to hint. Later, Li Chengxing directly confessed to the other party, only to find that the other party had no feelings for him at all. He also thought that his behavior was naive, so he decisively gave up his secret love in his heart. "I know that the twisted melon is not sweet, and I don’t want to be so humble."

College teachers: Secret love should be regarded as a process of self-improvement and self-realization
Wang Xudong, secretary of the Youth League Committee of the School of Chemistry and Environment, Guangdong Ocean University, said that in view of everyone’s growth, individuals have reached physical maturity before and after junior high school, and gradually become psychologically mature after entering the university. Love is an important step towards psychological maturity, and it is the only way to cultivate a healthy and intimate relationship.
However, unrequited love is different from love, it is an individual’s unilateral feelings towards the other party. "From the psychological level, unrequited love is so common among college students that I feel there may be two reasons: first, ‘ Secret love ’ The beauty attached to itself; Second, ‘ Secret love ’ It is a unilateral emotion of the individual, which can be controlled and dominated by the parties and is controllable. " Wang Xudong said.
Wang Xudong believes that whether it is unrequited love, love or single, there are reasons for it. They are all independent choices of individuals and need respect and understanding. As a counselor, he suggested that college students should treat unrequited love correctly and regard it as a process of self-improvement and self-realization in order to meet their best selves.
Zheng Jijia, a teacher majoring in social work at Sichuan Agricultural University, believes that unrequited love is not a bad thing. It is a wonderful thing to have someone you like or be secretly liked by others. Sometimes you may lose some important people because of hesitation or fear. In fact, the only difference is to speak out bravely. It takes a lot of courage to speak out.
Regarding the view that students’ secret love affects their study and life, Zheng Jijia believes that dialectical thinking is needed. Some people will become better because of the excellent secret love object, but some people will also have a bad influence because of psychological dissatisfaction and other reasons. Therefore, it is still necessary to look at the secret love objectively and try to avoid or slow down its negative influence. (At the request of the interviewee, except Wang Xudong and Zheng Jijia, the other interviewees are pseudonyms.)